I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
