who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
