i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
