Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
