Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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