Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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