I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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