I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
