A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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