Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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