the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
