Whod you bang
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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