Kiss
Puke
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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