you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
