Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
