If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
