You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
