Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
