Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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