So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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