If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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