you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize