that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
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He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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