I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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