The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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