I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
