awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
