We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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