no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I didn't notice because vodka
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.