So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Found the puke drawer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain