hotel room ftw
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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