Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(580): I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite. http://tfl.nu/hgau

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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(709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju

Replies (23) Good night (7316) Bad night (1145)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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(651): Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how http://tfl.nu/5k4d

Replies (43) Good night (1381) Bad night (4270)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

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(808): white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month" http://tfl.nu/8vpl

Replies (46) Good night (15108) Bad night (1651)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok

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(785): Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok http://tfl.nu/c6qb

Replies (7) Good night (3247) Bad night (896)
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(805): View more from California

We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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(805): We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits. http://tfl.nu/3ys3

Replies (17) Good night (1187) Bad night (2708)
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(951): View more from California

Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.

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(951): Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails. http://tfl.nu/29ec

Replies (13) Good night (2295) Bad night (727)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..

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(270): You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it.. http://tfl.nu/hsv3

Replies (2) Good night (1915) Bad night (648)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.

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(773): I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in. http://tfl.nu/6fvt

Replies (8) Good night (1775) Bad night (636)
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(734): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.

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(734): The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes. http://tfl.nu/6htc

Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (543)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I remember it like it was tomorrow.

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(860): Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love (1-860): I remember it like it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1n7o

Replies (2) Good night (2358) Bad night (640)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter

(1-773): View more from Illinois

re read what you just said

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(773): i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter (1-773): re read what you just said http://tfl.nu/07tx

Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (1535)
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(702): View more from Nevada

we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night

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(702): we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night http://tfl.nu/elak

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(734): View more from Michigan

I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them

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(734): I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them http://tfl.nu/fus3

Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (289)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.

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(605): Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea. http://tfl.nu/sf5o

Replies (0) Good night (193) Bad night (235)

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