Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex