you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
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I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me