She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...