Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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