She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize