Are we in a gay sports bar?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
