There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hippo gnu deer
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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