He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
