Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
