remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize