When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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