There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
