I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
