the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
