Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
