I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize