NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
