im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
