HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
