I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
