nut hugger
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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