I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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