i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
