Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
