What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize