she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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