Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
