I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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