Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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