dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
