Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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