I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
