But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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