But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
