I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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